Some of my submissives and friends know how I feel about this, and others do not. But I have this very strong drive to go down in history as someone important and/or for creating something important. I do not have kids and probably won’t, and I am also an only child. So, what lives on of me will be through writing, art, what I do on the internet, what people say about me, etc.
This “need” I have, to go down in history, is kind of annoying. I feel, at 33 years old, that I am in a rush to do something or be someone really meaningful, but I do not even really know what it is I am going down in history for. Is it my erotic work, online? I have been referred to as a “famous hypnodomme.” I make good money, and have a pretty big following of humiliation fans, tease and denial fans, feminization fans, lipstick fetish fans, hosiery fetish fans, and financial fetishists. And I do things my way. But am I doing anything exceptionally out of the ordinary or innovative? I don’t even know, because I do not listen to or watch the work of other Dommes.
How about my writing? I used to really want to be an author, and have had some fiction, poetry, and essays published in literary magazines. But nowadays, I only really enjoy writing journal entries and the occasional Femdom or fetish-related article for publication online. I mostly worked on becoming a writer of fiction. And I basically decided that I no longer wanted to be in the head space required of me in order to write well. I’d have to change my whole “voice” if I wanted to keep writing fiction and still remain sane.
Since I’ve returned from Italy and quit smoking, I’ve been working on painting and collage-making. I must say the stuff I am coming up with is looking rather cute. I am not sure how far I will really go with it, but I see the potential for growth, improvement, and possible success.
A lot of famous people have said things such as, “As a child I always felt like I was ‘special’ and would become someone famous or important.” I felt that way as a child. I thought I was going to be a singer. My exact words were, “When I grow up, I am going to be a singer. Like Debbie Gibson, but more popular.” *giggles*
I am not sure where I am going with this; I just feel the need to express this feeling I have to my fans and friends. How I think about this a LOT. I think about death a lot too, and am uncertain about what happens after life. And I’d just feel overall more comfortable about life and death if I knew for sure that I was making progress towards whatever my “big purpose” is. If I knew for *sure* that I’d live on in the earthly realm on a relatively large scale, even if just in a subculture/cult sense.
Anyway, everything I do nowadays is with this feeling of needing to rush but also to be excellent. I wrote a bit about my Need in one of my blogs at Goddess Worship. The Need played a very strong part in my creation of that site. I wanted to reach out to and work with other women who I admire; to associate myself with other women I hold in high regard.
And I would really like to know how long internet stuff lives on. Like, when someone dies, and their domain names expire, someone else can just buy them, I suppose. I feel like I need to write out a will to make sure all my internet work goes in the right hands. Not that I plan on dying ANYTIME soon, lol. I do wonder, however, about the life-span of internet publications. You know; in this new era of electronic devices.
When I was a kid, it was about getting published in books and magazines, and having your artwork show in galleries or bought to hang in people’s living rooms. Or about your erotic material being sold in an adult book store. So for those of us today, who do most of our work online, will our publications live on for a longer time? A shorter time? Will they get lost in the jumble of everything ever online? Things I wonder about.
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: June 7, 2011 6:39 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | 3 Comments
Now I can get my new laptop 🙂
What’s super cool is that finn (who contributed $300 to my laptop funds) has a smoking fetish. A few years ago, he discovered my smoking videos on YouTube, which is what inspired him to initially serve me. But now that I am a non-smoker, she still thinks I am sexy as hell, and he realizes I still have several weapons to use against him.
Just when you think they love you only with a burning stick in your mouth…
Thanks to all who contributed. I’ll order my laptop this weekend, and then you can start on replenishing my jewelry *kiss*
– financial domination by Goddess Lycia –
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: June 5, 2011 6:28 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
Guys and gals, dominants and submissives, fetish freaks and vanillas, Clifford the Compulsive Masturbator needs your help. He has had a *totally* fucked up life and has a serious sexual addiction illness. He really needs to be locked up in a residential treatment facility where his compulsions can be strictly monitored and regulated. He asked me to share his e-mail address with you so that you can write to him. He needs to be consistently reminded that he has a real problem with a severely abnormal amount of diddling.
It needs to get to the point where it is IMPOSSIBLE for him to ever go into denial mode, because he needs to hit rock bottom before he will commit himself to a mental health clinic for people with SEVERE SEXUAL ADDICTIONS. He seriously masturbates himself from morning to night and has so many orgasms per day that it causes him to experience a great deal of physical pain in his genitals.
So here is his e-mail address: compulsivesexaddict@yahoo.com
He does not seem to be a danger to anyone but himself; he just looks at porn all day long with his hand around his dick, masturbating to painful orgasm after painful orgasm. Write to him with whatever you want. Maybe you share his suffering. Maybe you are a mental health professional. Maybe you are a Domme who wants to laugh at him or spit on him or something. Either way, he wants to hear from you. Maybe our interventions will get him to take the steps toward the help he needs, and he will get that help ONLY through long-term residence in a psychiatric ward for severely compulsive diddlers and chronic sex addicts.
Thanks for reading.
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: 1:45 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
Clifford the Compulsive Masturbator
Clifford the Compulsive Masturbator. Has some of my erotic hypnosis mp3s like Compulsive Masturbation Syndrome and The Humiliation Box. Has a compulsive masturbation problem. Works from home on his computer, so he is constantly “acting out.” He needs to be consistently reminded about his psychiatric disorder, and wants me to make his illness worse and worse until he is must seek out a residential treatment facility where he is forced to compulsively masturbate under surveillance and is force-fed his sperm through a funnel. Needs consistent reminders about who and what he is so that he is unable to deny it at all and will eventually be forced to get treatment. His triggers are medical/clinical terms.
“I am a desperately severe sexually addicted sperm-eating compulsive masturbator, and I desperately need help admitting the truth about what I really am! Your mp3s have been extremely helping in overcoming my denial and helping me to self-identify as the compulsive masturbator i really am.”
Tonya the (Wannabe) Transgender
Tonya the Transgender. Erotic hypnosis to make her more feminine, to the point where she takes hormones. Condition her to have all the feminine mannerisms, etc, and use the bimbo fetish to help make the transition. Walk with elbows close to torso, slightly wave hips back and forth, voice raises a higher pitch whenever she makes squirties, boobs expand and bounce up and down in a hypnotic motion as she listens to my voice.
Wants to make sure she goes to O’dea medical center to become a girl, so I hypnotize and blackmail her. Always combine bimboification. Told her to have a vibrator in her “pussy” for the inductions and erotic hypnosis sessions. The one she has is 7 inches. Was wearing a bra and panties, black with pink trim and a bow, and said she recently got other pairs. Needs lots of pink in life. Must change job and become a true female.
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: June 4, 2011 3:07 pm
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
Hey boyz and gurlz. So, since the last amazon gift certificate update, I received $100 more, which brings the current total to $600. I also got one more signup on TalkSugar, which made me $35 through the affiliate program and brought me to 21 points. Better than nothing, right?
BARELY. I am so disappointed about how slow you are being about getting me a measly $800 towards my new laptop since my last one was stolen. I was nice enough to make this a community project, rather than demanding the full cost from just one of you. It’s been almost a *month* since I first requested gift certs for a new laptop, and I am at only $600? Lame.
Meanwhile, I may have gone up one point in the TalkSugar contest, but the girl below me went up THREE points. I can’t believe you guys look at my websites every day, admiring my images and my words, my creativity and my strength, my intellect and my lifestyle; drooling over me and pretend-worshiping me, just to skim right the fuck over my DEMANDS as if I am not talking to YOU.
Regular sales, however, have been sky-rocketing. Every day, I see you boyz ansd gurlz going ape-shit over my erotic hypnosis mp3s and fetish clips, spend spend spending it all on your wanky-wank material. That’s perfectly fine, sweeties, but how about you take your hand off your pecker for just a sec and give a rats ass about what I want?
Listen, I don’t need your frigging $800 for a laptop. Nor do I need the $2,000 TalkSugar prize. The thing is that I WANT them. And I am DEMANDING you to get moving on these tasks so that I can chill the fuck out and enjoy my weekend like a GODDESS should.
*ahem* So do that.
I am pleased with your recent purchases, and with how you have been calling my expensive lines on NiteFlirt and TalkSugar for sessions. I am also pleased with the boyz and gurlz who *have* come through for me and obeyed my commands. For these reasons, my blog here remains pink, rather than black.
I will be taking calls today, and tomorrow I will have company for a couple days.
Kissies.
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: 10:31 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
Been having LOTS of fun on NiteFlirt and TalkSugar with two different clients, Tonya the Transgender and Clifford the Compulsive Masturbator. I would write about them both right now, but I am sooo tired. Just know that I am helping Tonya to become more of a Transgender and Clifford to become more of a Compulsive Masturbator through erotic hypnosis.
I am going to sleep. Catch me if and when you can on Friday and Saturday, because buahmbie is visiting again on Sunday, so I will be busy for a couple days then.
Up to $600 for the laptop, send more. Kissies and sweet dreams <3
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: June 3, 2011 5:15 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
(x-posted from my LJ)
Good morning, all! Yesterday my buahmbie and I went to the AT&T store and got me a new android cell phone. I was using something much lower-tech, and I feel like I am part of the cool kids group now. Then we went to Michaels and I got some more paint and art supplies. I am so glad I started painting again. I feel more fulfilled, and it is nice to be creative away from the computer and the telephone for a change.
Then I decided I was in the mood for Nutella and something really really garlic-y for dinner. I swear, being off cigs is like being pregnant, as far as food cravings go. So I am enjoying what I can now, because my NutriSystem order ships on June 6th, and then it’s Back to Bland, for me~
Finally, buah did some hypnosis on me to help with my cig withdrawals (and my overall mood). I found it very relaxing, and we both went to sleep right after, when it was only about 8pm.
So far I have $500 saved up towards my new laptop, thanks to some very sweet boyz.
$300 more and I will be getting a MacBook Air! Like I’ve said before, the overall cost will be more than $800, but I will just get the laptop once I have $800 in gift certs. So send $25, $50, $100, or more and let’s get this show on the road. After all, we have to start getting me some new jewelry and start saving for Bermuda.
Also, here are the most current stats on the TalkSugar contest. As you can see, you boyz have been rocking it for me, but my competitors can be sneaky. Please refrain from allowing my heart to shatter into a thousand little pieces. Do the joining thing, so I can use my $2,000 prize towards my Bermuda vacation. Remember I always put ITALY in caps? Well Bermuda will always be in bold.
Not sure what the plan for today will be. Tomorrow I should be back to taking calls, so figure out when you are going to hit me up for some mind fucking and cock control. Hope you all have a great Tuesday~
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: May 31, 2011 11:02 am
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
Hmmm, nothing *overly* exciting going on over here. luvtease and holes, two of my long-term submissives, came through with some nice tributes and gifts since I’ve been back. Product sales are going well, especially over at NiteFlirt. Just nothing too extreme or seriously brag-worthy.
Did a couple sessions since I’ve been back from Italy, and hope to do more today. Strangely enough, none of the sessions since I’ve been back have been erotic hypnosis, which is my most popularly-requested fetish specialty (they were humiliation, which is totally fun and totally fine). Tomorrow, buah is coming over and he will clean BOTH of my bathrooms. I don’t like cleaning bathrooms, and that’s why I have my slave do it. Kitchen, livingroom, bedroom, etc.- -not so bad. But bathrooms? No thank you. Anyway, buah usually stays for a couple days, so get your time with me in *today.*
I am thinking of getting some cinnamon sticks to help with the oral part of my cig withdrawal. Will probaby get some while buah is down here, and will also go to the cell phone store. It’s more fun to run errands if I have someone to drag around with me 😉
Did you guys notice the shoutbox I added to the right side of this page? Use it when you stop by! But say nice things, please. Negative comments are so played out, I am just totally over them already~
Still accepting e-certs to go towards my new laptop, slackers. Additionally, I have updated my wishlist with some new jewelry, so check that out, as well. I also have a couple of other wishlists, such as my ETSY wishlist, but you need my PO address for those, and only certain special submissives get it. My PO address is also good for well-concealed and insured CASH tributes 🙂
I’ll have to work on a new erotic hypnosis recording or fetish video soon. Keep sending me your ideas, requests, and suggestions. Otherwise I will just hang out and take calls through NiteFlirt and TalkSugar until my Muse desides to push me in whichever direction.
I have been enjoying the painting thing; it really is therapeutic for me.
Okay, do things to make me happy *kiss*
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: May 29, 2011 9:58 pm
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
I currently have $400 to go towards my new laptop. Once I have $800, I am going to buy it (MacBook Air). So stop procrastinating and send gift cards to goddesslycia@yahoo.com. Here is the amazon e-cert link.
I shall be engaging in Femdom phone sessions today. Check here to see my availability. I am logged on to ALL my TalkSugar lines because I want to win their contest, and only my most expensive NiteFlirt line because you guys call it anyway, giggles. I don’t mind, really.
Keep sending $$$ tribs; I have a mani and pedi coming up this week, plus I’ll be getting a new cell phone and the cd player in my car fixed. And I really don’t feel like busting ass to make money right now. As I mentioned in a previous entry, my Italy “vacation” was an experience and an adventure, but it didn’t feel like a vacation. I just want to relax and paint and watch the tribs pour in for a while. And that’s what you are there for; it is simply why you exist.
The quitting smoking thing has been exceptionally difficult since I’ve been back. Yesterday and the day before there were a number of hours where I was having full-body tantrums. Seriously difficult habit to break. But I have always said that once I have proof the smoking is harming my body, I’ll stop. And I just keep reminding myself how bad the asthma attacks were, and what a sadly significant part of my childhood my Nanna’s emphysema was. And besides, smoking causes physical appearance stuff that’s just ug, like wrinkles, bags under the eyes, and yellow teeth. *So* done with all that.
Had a nice date last night, but I was really tired so we just chatted for a bit and went to sleep. Tomorrow we might go up to the mountain, catch a film, and actually do sex. Then during the week buah is supposed to come over. I am going to make him clean things, like my bathtub.
Okay, call if you like and do everything you can to serve and please me to the BEST of your ability at all times. Kissy.
Author: lycia
Category: General Updates
Date: May 28, 2011 8:05 pm
Comments Feed | Trackback | No Comments
